


Black Clover Crackhead Time

by dinosaur12



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Just enjoy, Minecraft, Moonshine, Other, don't ask why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:48:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24857893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaur12/pseuds/dinosaur12
Summary: Babey Time OVER. Crackhead hours can now commence.This is where I dump all the fucking insane things I come up with. Stay tuned for more.
Kudos: 11





	1. BC characters and their favorite alcoholic beverage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only the characters that are over 21 owo

> Finral

Probably white claw bc he can't handle any more. He thinks the bubbles make the drink "spicy"

> Vanessa

???wine??? What else?? Her favorite is Rose

> Grey

Rubbing alcohol and/or hydrogen peroxide

> Gordon

Black Russian (vodka and coffee)

> Henry

Gin and Tonic

> Zora

Corona bc he can snap off the bottle cap w his teeth

> Secre/nero

Grey Goose vodka bc bird lmao no in all actuality she likes a good Old Fashioned

> Yami

Straight whiskey

> Fuegoleon

Cosmopolitan

> Mereoleona

Fireball.

> Nozel

Sangria.

> Dorothy

Bourbon

> Kaiser

Whatever his wife drinks idc

> Jack

Oh boy Blood Mary

> Charlotte

This virgin don't drink lmao

> Julius

Either something pretentious like a Clover Club Cocktail or Moonshine that he made in his bathtub

> Marx

Whatever’s the strongest on hand... 


	2. If Black Clover Characters played a Minecraft Hunger Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Computers get transported into the black clover world. What happens next?

Team 1: Julius and Marx. LAST place. Julius doesn't know how to use the computer and keeps on getting distracted by stuff. "Marx! Is that a cow? It's so square!" *walking along calmly* "WHO CARES?! THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE GOING TO-" *sprinting*

Team 2: Mimosa and Noelle. 9th place. They split up too early bc Mimosa wants to run away from the cornucopia while Noelle goes straight for it. They're easy to track down and kill. Mimosa is actually good at PvP for some reason so she survives longer. She deflects an attack from Magna and manages to get out of his range, before running right into Jack and Sekke. 

Team 3: William/Patri and Licht. 8th place. Patri is a little too enthusiastic about everything. "Licht, you press shift+w to run." "But I like walking." "Licht this is Minecraft." Def the ones to find and kill Julius and Marx, but Luck shows up outta nowhere and kills them both. Meanwhile William is relegated to the back of Patri's mind and is crying bc he's actually good at the game but he doesn't want to intrude on Patri and Licht's moment.

Team 4: Luck and Magna. 7th place. A disaster with only two kills. Luck kills Team 3 before running off of a cliff by accident. Magna goes afk and Mereoleona shows up.

Team 5: Sekke and Jack. 6th. Also a disaster, but Jack is the one who kills Sekke. "Bah-ha, captain! Friendly fire is on!" "Ka-ka, I like the sound you make when you take damage!" Jack does pretty well on his own but forgets to eat and dies of hunger. Yami never lets him live it down.

Team 6: Nozel and Solid. 5th place. These two work well together, but Yami and Finral show up to defeat them. Nozel keeps putting his fingers on the wrong keys and ends up crouching over and over again. Yami laughs at him before taking the kill. "I didn't even SEE fuegoleon! Never let this happen again, Nozel."

Team 7: Asta and Yuno. 4th place. You already know what they're thinking: "My first step to becoming the Wizard king... is beating this minecraft hunger games!" They catch up to team 1 first but decide not to kill Julius bc it would be rude. End up getting separated. Yuno is good but not as good as Fuegoleon. 

Team 8: Charmy and Vanessa. 3rd place. Vanessa only manages to survive a little while before getting caught up to by Asta and Yuno. Charmy manages to live to 3rd place by camping and eating the food she got from chests. However, that doesn't save her from Mereoleona.

Team 9: Mereoleona and Fuegoleon. 2nd place. These two get the most kills in the game for sure. Fuegoleon practiced tirelessly when he learned that Nozel would be here, and Mereoleona is good at everything she does. They die after walking through fire bc they forgot that they can die to it in minecraft.

Team 10: Yami and Finral. Somehow manage to surpass their limits and get 1st place. "Captain! I've never played minecraft in my life!" "Surpass your limits. How hard can it be?" "WAIT, you haven't either?!" *goes on to destroy almost every team they run into*

> This is a fucking disaster lol have some more Black Clover Minecraft fuckery:

  * Julius is bad but he put a lot of work into his minecraft skin. Like, he actually went online and made a custom one of himself.
  * Of course they don't have computers in the Clover Kingdom but it they did, Nozel would probably buy the most expensive one
  * Charmy has a huge automated sheep farm in her survival world. 
  * Yuno and Asta have a joint survival world, where they're racing to see who can kill the ender dragon first. Neither of them is competent so it's going to be a while.




	3. Julius Novachrono: Moonshiner extraordinaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I smoke too much.

Marx was having a bad day. On top of all the meetings and babysitting he had to do, now Julius decided to go off on one of his silly little adventures. The Wizard King left behind a "kind" note for his weary advisor:

" _Hi Marx! I heard about something crazy out in the Common Realm so I won't be back until this evening. I left some paperwork in my room somewhere, haha, maybe you could go get it for me? By "left" I mean "lost" oops. Anyway see you later! xoxo "_

The "xoxo" was lost on Marx but he had much bigger things to deal with today. "I can't believe him! Not only does he run off to fuck around during the day, but he can't even be bothered to keep track of his work! But hey, what does any of that matter? He has _me_ to pick up after him!"

Still ranting to himself, Marx kicked down the door to Julius's room and started rooting around for the paperwork. His room was a disaster, with lots of coffee cups and clothes strewn everywhere (some of the clothes appeared to belong to a female, too... Marx tried not to think about it). "Grr! I'm not his mother, I shouldn't have to dig through all this stuff," Marx wailed softly. The paperwork wasn't anywhere in sight. "Maybe he left it in his bathroom?" It was better than nothing so Marx walked into the adjoining room, then nearly doubled over in disgust. "Dear god... why does it smell like cleaning fluid in here?" Usually Marx would be delighted to hear that Julius was actually cleaning up after himself, but the smell was super, SUPER strong. Marx sniffed again, realizing that the source was the large bathtub in the corner.

"...oh... my... god..."

There was a strange contraption down in the tub, with a tube and several reservoirs. One of the reservoirs was full of a potent, clear liquid. Something told Marx that it wasn't water...

"Hmm, hmm, wow, what a fun day!" Julius said to himself later, making his way back to his room. He was tired and had no intention of doing any work before bed. He opened his door and was surprised to see Marx sitting on the edge of his bed, arms crossed. "Oh! What's happening, Marx?" Julius asked, his heart falling when he realized that he was about to get chewed out for the 100th day in a row.

"Julius..." Marx took a long breath, trying to remain calm. "...what the Hell is in your bathtub?"

 _Uh oh._ "Oh, that? Haha, it's just a little science experiment I've been working on-"

"Science Experiment?! SCIENCE experiment?!" Marx cut in. "Julius, that stuff may smell like chemicals, but even I know what alcohol is! What the Hell are you doing with a bathtub full of alcohol?!"

"Marx, Marx, calm down!" Julius laughed with an infuriatingly happy expression on his face. "It's not _just_ alcohol... it's moonshine!"

"...moonshine?"

"Yep!"

Marx blinked, taking it all in. Julius kept talking: "You see, I met some guys out in the boonies a week ago and they were making it in their houses as well! It was so cool, even though they weren't using magic to do it. Anyway, I insisted that they teach me and they did!"

...

"The Wizard King... of the Clover Kingdom..." Marx's face was blank as he spoke, then everything suddenly burst out.

"THE WIZARD KING OF THE CLOVER KINGDOM IS MAKING MoOnNSHINE IN HIS BATHTUB?!?!?!" _What on earth has this world come to?_

Marx was still in shock as Julius continued to laugh and gush about the wonders of moonshine. "The stuff I make is really good, too! I haven't been that Fucked up since-"

"Julius!" Marx suddenly interrupted, shaking his head and coming to his senses. "What on earth are you going to do with all of that? You'll die if you drink it alone!"

Julius's face lit up. "I thought you'd never ask! You see-" He suddenly stopped talking when there was a knock on the door. "Ah... they're here."

... _oh no._

"Hey Old man! We don't have much time. Give us the 'shine and we'll be on our way." Yami took a drag of his cigarette as he stood in the doorway expectantly. Marx should have expected Yami, but he didn't expect William Vangeance, the Captain of the Golden Dawn, to be there as well. 

"Haha, old?" Julius laughed nervously. "And right away! Come on in!" He let the two step inside before running back into the bathroom. Marx watched in horror as Julius grabbed a large glass jug and dipped it into the alcohol. _glug glug glug._ Finally, it was full. Julius put a rubber stobber in the top before depositing it in a sketchy paper bag. "Here we go! Enjoy~"

Yami snatched the jug away. "We don't intend to _enjoy..._ we intend to forget our problems. Vangeance, pay him."

William stepped forward and pulled out some cash, handing it to Julius. "Thank you, sir."

"No problem!" Julius waved goodbye before slamming the door. "Ah, now I can-"

"JULIUS NOVACHRONO-" Marx suddenly burst out after being silent throughout the exchange. "I will NOT allow you to turn the CASTLE into a fucking MOONSHINERY!!!!"

"Haha, why not? I'm the Wizard King, right?" Julius was smiling, but Marx fell silent as he felt a strange pressure in the older man's words. "You see... I've only been drunk a few times. I don't know why, but I've always been very good at holding my liquer. And recently, I haven't been sleeping very well. Despite my problem, THIS stuff puts me right to sleep! But Yami found out and insists that I sell it to him. William doesn't even drink it he just comes along to pay... I hope."

 _Hmmm, I suppose that's a good reason... this us a weird solution, though!_ Marx sighed and rubbed his forehead. Couldn't you have just asked Owen for sleeping pills or something?"

Julius laughed. "Well, that wouldn't have been much fun, would it?"

_Fun... everything's about fun with this guy!!!_

"Whatever. Just don't let it get in the way."

"Of course! Would you like to try some?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the main character of my fic "dyad" bc she's basically an alcoholic and would get a kick out of this


	4. Jojo x Black Clover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would the Jojos do in Black Clover?

**Johnathan Joestar**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Sunlight Magic
> 
>   * a rare form of light magic
>   * mostly used for physical reinforcement
>   * however, it makes him so strong that he can basically punch through anything
>   * also has some healing properties
> 

> 
> Squad: Golden Dawn
> 
>   * his powerful magic and noble status make him a perfect match
> 


**Joseph Joestar**

> Class: disgraced Noble
> 
>   * as the grandson of Johnathan, many expected great things of him. However, he had an affair which disgraced him
> 

> 
> Magic: Psychic Magic
> 
>   * allows him to create various shapes made of a thorny purple vine
>   * he has an attack called "hermit purple"
>   * he can use the vines to attack, escape, or create images of things far away
> 

> 
> Squad: Black Bulls (formerly Golden Dawn)
> 
>   * the black bulls took him in after the Golden Dawn kicked him out for his scandal
> 


**Jotaro Kujo**

> Class: commoner
> 
> Magic:
> 
> Squad: None (formerly Purple Orcas)
> 
>   * he joined the purple orcas because he liked the name, but dropped out once he learned how corrupt they were
>   * now acts as a scientist/vigilante
> 


**Josuke Higashikata**

> Class: commoner
> 
> Magic: Gem Healing Magic
> 
>   * he can create a being that he calls "crazy diamond"
>   * the primary use is healing, he can do so with touch
>   * he can also revert other things back into their original form
>   * will also beat your ass, nothing can break diamond
> 

> 
> Squad: Black Bulls

**Dio Brando (aka DIO)**

> Class: former noble
> 
> Magic: Time Magic
> 
>   * this would be amazing if he could do anything other than just stop time
>   * He can also reinforce his physical body
>   * Dabbled in dark "vampire magic" to give himself more powers
> 

> 
> Squad: none
> 
>   * acted as a terrorist/villain
>   * his reign of terror was brought to an end when he fought and lost to Julius Novachrono, who has superior time magic
> 


**Giorno Giovanna**

> Class: Peasant
> 
>   * As the son of the evil Dio Brando, he had to change his identity and hide in the Forsaken Realm
> 

> 
> Magic: Life Creation Magic
> 
>   * His magic is able to turn any non-living object into a living object
>   * his living creatures reflect damage
>   * unclear whether this is pseudo-life or actual life
> 

> 
> Squad: Formerly Golden Down; now none
> 
>   * He works in the Castle directly under the Wizard King because of the curious nature of his magic
> 


**Jolyne Kujo**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: String Magic
> 
>   * possesses the ability to turn herself into string. 
>   * Usually only her fingers
>   * has a variety of attacks
>   * it also allows her to increase her range of hearing
> 

> 
> Squad: Green Mantis

**Johnny Joestar**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Spin Magic
> 
>   * Despite being confined to a wheelchair, Spin magic is extremely powerful and gives him many magical abilities
>   * Johnny can cause objects to have "perfect rotation," which creates a powerful energy he can channel
>   * It can be applied to objects to make them faster/hit harder
>   * Many unknown uses as well
>   * Full disclosure I have no idea how spin works lol
> 

> 
> Squad: Grey Deer

**Josuke "Gappy" Higashikata**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Plundering Magic
> 
>   * Possesses the ability to take away properties of certain objects (ei Friction)
>   * It can be used for both offense and defense
>   * He can also beat you to death
> 

> 
> Squad: Coral Peacocks

**BONUSES:**

**Noriaki Kakyoin**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Emerald Magic
> 
> Squad: Grey Deer

**Mohamed Avdol**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Flame Magic
> 
> Squad: Crimson Lions

**Jean-Pierre Polnareff**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Sword Magic
> 
> Squad: Silver Eagles

**Okuyasu Nijimura**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Offensive Spatial Magic
> 
> Squad: Black Bulls

**Koichi Hirose**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Sound Magic
> 
> Squad: Black Bulls

**Rohan Kishibe**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Manga/Drawing Magic
> 
> Squad: Coral Peacocks

**Yoshikage Kira**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Explosion Magic/Time Magic
> 
> Squad: None
> 
> Extra: The long-lost brother of Julius Novachrono

**Yukako Yamagishi**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Hair magic
> 
> Squad: Blue Roses

**Caeser Zepelli**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Bubble Magic
> 
> Squad: Purple Orcas

**Vanilla Ice**

> Class: Peasent
> 
> Magic: Void Magic
> 
> Squad: none. Dio's sidekick

**Bruno Bucciarati**

> Class: Noble
> 
> Magic: Zipper Magic (form of Spatial Magic)
> 
> Squad: Grey Deer

**Guido Mista**

> Class: Peasent
> 
> Magic: Gun Magic (LOL)
> 
>   * no one in the clover kingdom knows what a gun is
>   * now they do
> 

> 
> Squad: Green Mantises

**Narancia Ghirga**

> Class: Peasent
> 
> Magic: Flight Magic
> 
> Squad: Green Mantises

**Panacotta Fugo**

> Class: Former Noble
> 
> Magic: Viral Magic
> 
> Squad: Green Mantises

**Leone Abbaccio**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Rewind Memory Magic
> 
> Squad: Grey Deer

**Trish Una**

> Class: Commoner
> 
> Magic: Softening Magic
> 
> Squad: Coral Peacocks

**Diavolo**

> Class: Estranged Noble
> 
> Magic: Time Skip magic
> 
> Squad: none. Criminal.


End file.
